Slowly Fading

This post is a little different from my normal rantings about my weight issues. It's definitely touching more on the things that are currently weighing on my mind. ;) 

Writing has always been a great outlet for me but other than reading my stuff to a few friends most of this stays with me. So I'm putting it out there for anyone who's reading this to see. I guess I'm baring my self emotionally, just like I've been baring myself physically with my progress pictures. It's terrifying and thrilling but yet I feel an impulse to do it. I feel like it's easier to break down some of my walls through words that I type behind the shield of my laptop than to break down in front of the people I love. 

Fading

Crimson  trickling from my wrist

Draining out the emptiness

Beat by beat, drip by drip

My insides for you to see

Exposing all futility

Surrounded by naivety 

Patiently waiting to be seen

Driving my insanity 

I am one

I am done

With this cruel cruel world

I am one

I've become

So inconsequential

I am one

I've succumb

To this house of cards

I am one

I am none

Fading into the background

The venom flowing through my veins

Poisoning  all that remains

Leaving impending death in it's wake

Don't know how much more I can take

Dominated by ambiguity

Drowned by insecurities

Taking a moment to breathe

Allowing it all to destroy me

I am one

I am done

With this cruel cruel world

I am one

I've become

So inconsequential

I am one

I've succumb

To this house of cards

I am one

I am none

Fading into the background

Someone Else's Skin

Looking at my smiling face

You wouldn't recognize the pain

Hiding beneath the surface

Waiting for it to somehow fade

Bitterness lives in my mouth

I'm addicted to it's taste

My head filled with so much doubt

I sometimes feel like such a waste

Below this skin

Lives someone I don't really know

Within my hands

Something else I can't control

Behind my eyes

Windows to a different soul

Beneath my lips 

A voice that still hasn't been heard

Someone else's skin

You could never understand

The burden that I've shouldered

Pretending throughout the years

Never showing you my tears

Pain still resides within me

Like a comfort I've grown to need

My soul just longs to be released

I remain confined to this skin

Below this skin

Lives someone I don't really know

Within my hands

Something else I can't control

Behind my eyes

Windows to a different soul

Beneath my lips A voice that still hasn't been heard

Someone else's skin

Once more with feeling

So I'm back again! Did you miss me? =)

I fell off the wagon but I promise I had a really good reason for not finishing out my 6th week. So instead of trying to make up the week, I'm just going to tackle it again from the beginning.  

3rd time's the charm, right? 

Current stats: 173

Bust:  42 in

Waist:  36 in

Hips:  40 in

Arms: (L):  12 in  (R):  12 in

Thighs: (L):  22 in  (R):  22in

2nd Week...again

Current Stats

I know I promised to post these on Tuesday but I totally forgot. So here are my current measurements and my weight:

Weight: 175 (-10 pounds)
Bust: 42 (-1 inch)
Waist: 37 (-1 inch)
Hips:  41 (-1/2 inch)
Arm (L): 12 (SAME)
Arm (R): 12 (SAME)
Thigh (L): 22 (SAME)
Thigh (R): 22 (SAME)

(The weight and inches reflected above, are what I've lost in total since I started this blog. I actually began eating healthier and working out in early December and had lost 7 pounds, so my total so far is 17 pounds!)

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely."

So things didn't go as planned this time around but I'm not giving up. Dusting off myself and giving it another go. I haven't gained weight, I actually lost 2 more pounds and an inch all around. I'm restarting the program because they don't recommend for you to miss more than a day per week. I was so sick and worn out last week that my body just couldn't handle the workouts. I'm really hoping that I'll be able to get through the entirety of this program and that I continue to lose the weight so that I can meet my goal.

Lizzy

P.S: Pictures and stats will be posted tomorrow.

Sick day for sure

Gotta go to bed so I'll let the video do the talking. Also I'll upload my updated pictures tomorrow.

Night ya'll

Weekend Splurge

I'll let my video do the talking =)