This post is a little different from my normal rantings about my weight issues. It's definitely touching more on the things that are currently weighing on my mind. ;)
Writing has always been a great outlet for me but other than reading my stuff to a few friends most of this stays with me. So I'm putting it out there for anyone who's reading this to see. I guess I'm baring my self emotionally, just like I've been baring myself physically with my progress pictures. It's terrifying and thrilling but yet I feel an impulse to do it. I feel like it's easier to break down some of my walls through words that I type behind the shield of my laptop than to break down in front of the people I love.
Fading
Crimson trickling from my wrist
Draining out the emptiness
Beat by beat, drip by drip
My insides for you to see
Exposing all futility
Surrounded by naivety
Patiently waiting to be seen
Driving my insanity
I am one
I am done
With this cruel cruel world
I am one
I've become
So inconsequential
I am one
I've succumb
To this house of cards
I am one
I am none
Fading into the background
The venom flowing through my veins
Poisoning all that remains
Leaving impending death in it's wake
Don't know how much more I can take
Dominated by ambiguity
Drowned by insecurities
Taking a moment to breathe
Allowing it all to destroy me
I am one
I am done
With this cruel cruel world
I am one
I've become
So inconsequential
I am one
I've succumb
To this house of cards
I am one
I am none
Fading into the background
Someone Else's Skin
Looking at my smiling face
You wouldn't recognize the pain
Hiding beneath the surface
Waiting for it to somehow fade
Bitterness lives in my mouth
I'm addicted to it's taste
My head filled with so much doubt
I sometimes feel like such a waste
Below this skin
Lives someone I don't really know
Within my hands
Something else I can't control
Behind my eyes
Windows to a different soul
Beneath my lips
A voice that still hasn't been heard
Someone else's skin
You could never understand
The burden that I've shouldered
Pretending throughout the years
Never showing you my tears
Pain still resides within me
Like a comfort I've grown to need
My soul just longs to be released
I remain confined to this skin
Below this skin
Lives someone I don't really know
Within my hands
Something else I can't control
Behind my eyes
Windows to a different soul
Beneath my lips A voice that still hasn't been heard
Someone else's skin
